Healed by Their Unexpected Family Read online

Jamie stifled a laugh. ‘I think Cherry was talking about you and the baby.’

  ‘Oh.’ She was sure she’d turned the same colour as her frustrated, hungry baby.

  Jamie made her flush further by adding, ‘Yes. It’s way too early to think about that yet,’ with a wink.

  Teasing a delirious, exhausted new mum wasn’t something she was a fan of and so she didn’t respond to him directly. ‘Cherry, if you could give me a hand upstairs I think I’d like to sleep in my own bed. I’ll keep the baby in with me for the night.’

  She didn’t have a partner to worry that co-sleeping would interfere in their relationship as some couples found.

  ‘We could run you a nice bath first if Jamie doesn’t mind babysitting?’

  ‘Not at all. You deserve a relaxing soak.’ The proud daddy continued pacing the living room, rocking his son in his arms as though he’d been born to do it.

  Meanwhile, Kayla didn’t believe she deserved anything more than an ‘I told you so’ after her plans for a peaceful home birth had nearly gone so disastrously wrong.

  ‘Are you sure? He might need a nappy change.’ That first one was always a sticky, dirty job and her wicked side wanted to leave him on his own to cope with it and expose a weakness. They’d been parents for five minutes and already she’d made it into a competition. One he was winning by a mile.

  ‘I can manage. Go.’ He shooed them away and got to work setting out the changing mat and terry-towelling nappies she had waiting to be christened. She didn’t even mind missing this first milestone at home if it meant there was something less for her to fail at.

  * * *

  Kayla stepped gingerly into the bath, closed her eyes and slid down under the bubbles. Bliss.

  ‘Do you think I can stay here until he starts university?’

  ‘You might be a tad wrinkly by then.’ Cherry passed her a flannel and busied herself organising some old towels for her to dry off with when she did eventually get out.

  ‘I don’t think anyone would notice.’ She threw the flannel over her face and blocked out the world.

  ‘What gives, Kay? You were so happy when I put that baby in your arms. Now you’re acting as though you don’t want him anywhere near you. This is me speaking as your friend who wants to help, not your doula.’

  It was ridiculous to be jealous of Jamie, but he was unfazed by this life-changing event when she was just so overwhelmed and underwhelming when it came to actual parenting.

  ‘Jamie is so much better at this.’ She pouted beneath her cotton face mask.

  ‘Based on what? That the baby stopped crying when he saw him for the first time? Damn, that man could stop traffic. I don’t blame him.’

  Kayla snatched the flannel away to give Cherry the full effect of her death stare. ‘You’re not helping.’

  ‘It’s natural to be tired and emotional. Giving birth is a big deal. As for the feeding, you have to persevere. You know all this.’ Cherry soaped her hair with shampoo, the gentle massage as she rinsed reminding Kayla of Jamie’s tending during labour.

  ‘At the minute it seems impossible.’

  ‘We’ll get you settled into bed, then I’ll bring the baby up and you can try again.’

  The bath had helped her to relax but when Cherry helped her into bed all Kayla wanted to do was sleep. The renewed cries from downstairs reminded her that was going to be a thing of the past.

  In the end Cherry didn’t have to go anywhere. Jamie knocked on the bedroom door, the baby’s increasing frustration over his mother’s failure to feed him sufficiently echoing through the house.

  ‘Come in.’ She propped herself up on the pillows and hoped she looked more presentable in a clean nightshirt than when he’d last seen her.

  ‘Hey. Sorry, but I think he’s looking to be fed again.’ With an apology, Jamie stepped into her bedroom and handed the baby over.

  It seemed absurd in the circumstances that this should be the first time he’d set foot in here when they’d conceived this child together. However, if he was the only capable parent around here she might ask him to stick around for a while longer.

  The baby grizzled against her, sending her anxiety levels into the roof.

  ‘I’ll leave you to it.’ Jamie backed out of the room and it was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to stay. Even though he couldn’t help her with this, his presence kept her grounded. He was the closest thing around she had to family now. Apart from this baby they’d created between them.

  ‘Okay, let’s see if we can get this little one sorted out.’ With some assistance, Cherry got them into a nursing position. His hungry mouth latched onto Kayla and she gasped at the first sharp pain. Any discomfort she experienced soon faded into insignificance when he began to feed in earnest.

  ‘He’s doing it!’ She watched his angry face even out into contentment as he suckled.

  ‘You did it.’ Cherry’s praise wasn’t necessary to make her feel as though she’d achieved something, but it was nice to have someone witness and acknowledge the progress. Doing this one thing right helped her believe that there was a possibility of being a better parent than the ones she’d been born to.

  ‘Knock knock.’ Jamie returned carrying a tray and nudged the door open.

  ‘He’s feeding.’ Kayla couldn’t wait to share the news to prove she was capable of doing this job as mother as well as he was doing his as a father so far. It hadn’t escaped her notice the baby had been cleaned, changed and smelled of those delicate baby products she’d lined up for his first bath. All without Jamie mentioning he’d done it or expecting some sort of accolade most men expected for doing the smallest of tasks. This was someone used to simply getting on with things.

  ‘Well done, both of you. I thought you might need some sustenance yourself.’ He set the tray down on the other side of the bed and handed a cup of herbal tea to Cherry. There was another for Kayla along with a plate of toast and jam. She’d never been so grateful for a snack in her whole life.

  ‘That’s very thoughtful, Jamie. Thank you.’ She’d have to wait for the baby to finish feeding before she’d get to enjoy it.

  ‘I’ll take him, so you can eat.’ Anticipating her dilemma, he threw a muslin square over his shoulder and transferred the baby, who was in a milk stupor.

  ‘It looks as though you have everything under control here. Is there anything you’d like me to do? Do you want me to stay the night, Kayla? Jamie?’

  It would be easy to say yes and keep her friend here as long as possible. To have her at hand the second she had another wobble in confidence. Although it wasn’t going to help her acclimatise into her new role if she had someone doing everything for her.

  Kayla did a lot of work with parents after birth to continue providing support whether it was doing household chores or minding baby while they napped. However, she didn’t want Jamie to think she couldn’t manage. She owed it to Liam, Tom and the baby to be the mother he needed. They’d never wanted strangers involved in raising this child. Now she was the only one left she didn’t intend to renege on that. Even if it meant doing it alone.

  ‘I don’t think that will be necessary.’ It was Jamie who rebuffed Cherry’s offer before she had a chance to do it more subtly.

  ‘Kayla?’

  Doulas, although not wishing to cause any unrest between parents, were employed primarily for the mum’s benefit. Therefore, it came as no surprise when Cherry deferred to her for confirmation she was in agreement.

  ‘I think I’ll be fine for tonight. I’m sure the midwife will be calling around tomorrow to check on us too. If I need anything I can phone you.’ She’d keep her phone by the bedside just in case. Cherry and Debbie lived only ten minutes away should she find herself overwhelmed by the prospect of motherhood once she was left alone.

  ‘We’ll be fine. Thank you, Cherry.’

  ‘We?’ If Jamie
thought making some tea and toast was all it took to allow him to bulldoze his way into her life, he was mistaken. Any decisions concerning the baby, or the running of the house, were hers to make alone until he proved she could trust him enough to include him.

  * * *

  ‘I’m not about to go and leave you here on your own. You’ve just given birth and you’re exhausted. Plus, there’s the whole “being the dad” thing. I’d like to spend some time with my son, if that’s okay with you?’ Jamie thought they’d been making progress up until now. He was doing his best to show her it would be better for her to let him play his part and do this together.

  That wasn’t to say it was easy for him. He might have raised Tom, but he’d done so after he’d been weaned and potty-trained. The poo-nami he’d dealt with downstairs had made him feel mildly queasy but what kind of dad would he be if he couldn’t even change a nappy without supervision?

  Mind you, Kayla seemed more impressed by the snack. If such a small act, or thought for her welfare, had become such a big deal it was no wonder she had trust issues. There was no doubt in his mind that Liam and Tom would’ve looked after her, but now there was no one. With them gone he didn’t want her to retreat into isolation. Neither of their brothers would have forgiven him if he walked out on her when she needed him most. He’d simply have to work harder on bonding with her as well as their son.

  ‘I—uh—’

  ‘That sounds great, Dad. You can be on hand for the practical things Kayla needs through the night. Call me, Mama K.’ It was beginning to feel as though he had an ally in Cherry when she was pushing for him to be included too. Perhaps he’d been too quick in disparaging her role when Kayla took more notice of her doula than her baby’s daddy.

  ‘Mama K’ wasn’t as peppy as the new nickname suggested as she merely grunted her reluctant acceptance.

  ‘I’ll see you out, Cherry. You and junior stay where you are.’ He ignored Kayla’s scowl, knowing Cherry would have agreed with him on the matter anyway.

  It was a picture he’d never known he’d wanted to see but suddenly the image of the mother of his child cradling their son in bed was everything. Regardless that Kayla didn’t want anything to do with him, that natural instinct to protect them had already kicked in.

  It was probably for the best that they’d never made it into bed that afternoon at the coffee shop. Now he’d seen her give birth to his child they had a special bond. One that couldn’t be forgotten about in favour of any desire he might have harboured towards her. He could never bed her now and relegate her to the list of women he’d hope to never cross paths with again in case it developed into something serious. This already was serious. Kayla and the baby were his world now. There was no way he was going to complicate that by letting attraction get in the way of this new family dynamic. He was a dad now and the best thing he could do for his son was be better than his own. That entailed putting aside his own wants and needs to focus on those of his son.

  ‘If there’s anything at all you need, don’t hesitate to get in touch. I know she’s stubborn but hang in there. She needs you more than she’ll ever admit to.’ With a hug and a kiss on the cheek at the door, Cherry disappeared into the darkness, leaving Jamie as backup for the night.

  He trudged back up the stairs, bone-weary but with adrenaline still pumping through him after being called into action. If he was confused about his thoughts and feelings around the birth, he could only imagine what Kayla was going through too. Not that she would ever share it with him, he supposed. Something they’d have to rectify if there was any hope he could give her the support she needed to raise this child between them.

  The two were asleep when he crept back into the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and eased himself onto the mattress with the baby lying between his parents.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Kayla snapped her eyes open at once.

  ‘I’m just lying down. I can watch the baby if you want to get some rest.’ He thought about the fact he’d crawled into bed beside her without an invitation. Being the baby’s father didn’t give him the right to do that and he could tell by the dark look Kayla was shooting his way that was what she was thinking too.

  ‘I can go if you’d prefer?’ He sat up again before his head managed to touch the pillow.

  She hesitated but not for long. ‘No. Stay.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He rolled over onto his side and rested his head on the inside of his arm, so he could watch his son sleep. Kayla was doing the same.

  ‘I think he has your colouring,’ he said, marvelling at the tiny blond eyelashes resting against his pale skin and the tuft of golden hair on his scalp.

  ‘You think?’

  ‘Definitely.’

  She smiled at that. Both Kayla and Liam were fair whilst he and Tom were darker. He used to joke with the two men that they looked like an angel and a demon when they stood together.

  As much as Jamie would be pleased if their boy resembled his mother more, he hoped to see some resemblance to his own family. A reminder he wasn’t alone in the world.

  ‘I hope, somehow, we can see a bit of Liam and Tom in him too. Does that sound stupid?’ It seemed Kayla was on the same page as she reached out and lifted the baby’s hand on one finger.

  ‘Not at all. That’s what I was thinking too. Maybe he’ll have that touch of red in his hair I used to tease Tom about.’

  ‘Or Liam’s cheeky charm. That one could talk his way out of anything.’

  ‘We’ll keep them alive no matter what,’ he promised, knowing how important that was to both of them. This child would grow up knowing how amazing his uncles were even though he’d never get to meet them.

  ‘We can’t keep calling him “the baby” for ever. It’s important he has a name and an identity.’

  ‘What? You’re not going for James Junior? JJ for short.’

  She shot him down with one of those looks that could wither a rose from a hundred yards. ‘No.’

  ‘Seriously though, do you think we should name him after our brothers? William Thomas?’

  Kayla wrinkled her nose. ‘I don’t think it would be fair on him. It would be kind of weird too, calling out my brother’s name when he’s not here.’

  ‘Good point.’ It would probably rip their hearts out to have an everyday reminder of their loss and it wasn’t the baby’s fault. He shouldn’t have to feel guilty he was here when they weren’t. Something which surely would have to be explained when he was at an age to understand the circumstances in which he’d been brought into the world.

  ‘What about something they liked?’

  ‘I’m not calling my son Rioja.’ They’d both loved to party in their younger days but had settled down in preparation for a parenthood they’d never got to enjoy.

  ‘I was thinking more along the lines of musicals or films.’

  ‘They were both sci-fi geeks. Didn’t they meet at that convention?’

  ‘Yeah. They did love their cosplay. I can only imagine the outfits they’d have made for this little one.’ That shadow seemed to move in again, clouding over the sunshine that had come into their lives. He supposed it was always going to be this way. Every joy they found in their son was going to be tinged with grief. Unless they could somehow marry the two and be reminded of the fun times they’d had with the guys.

  ‘What about Luke? I vaguely remember a late-night conversation when they were discussing possible baby names. I think that was one of the ones they’d favoured for a boy.’

  ‘Luke.’ Kayla sounded the name on her tongue whilst studying the sleeping babe between them. ‘It suits him.’

  Her approval of his brainwave made him feel as though he was contributing. He’d take that victory and leave the question over the surname for another day.

  ‘Baby Luke it is, then. When he’s old enough we’ll do a photo shoot in costume together. We’ll make i
t fun and honour Tom and Liam in our own way.’

  ‘If you think I’m wearing a skintight bodysuit purporting to be some sort of body armour you’ve got another think coming!’

  He hadn’t considered that, but now that was all that was on his mind. It would be a boyhood dream come true to have a girlfriend dress up in a superhero outfit. Jamie stopped himself from saying something along those lines and ruining his chance of being part of this family for good. When had he started seeing Kayla in a different light from simply being the oven for his brother’s surrogate baby, anyway? Probably around the time they’d first met, and she’d treated him with such unexplained disdain. He’d always enjoyed the company of feisty women when that passion often carried on into the bedroom. Where they were now. With their baby.

  ‘I’ll wear the bodysuit, then, and really give us something to laugh about.’

  He succeeded in doing just that when she chuckled. ‘I’ll look forward to it.’

  She stopped laughing at his expense and looked so deep into his eyes the mood changed between them again to something more charged. ‘Thanks, Jamie.’

  ‘For what?’ As far as he could see she was the one who’d done the hard work.

  ‘For being here. Despite my attempts to get rid of you. I’m glad you didn’t listen to me.’

  ‘Stubborn, is what Cherry called you.’

  ‘I stand up for what I believe in. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.’ She sniffed, not finding any humour in her friend’s description.

  ‘Not at all, but not everyone is out to hurt you either. Some of us simply want what’s best for you.’

  ‘That may be true...on this occasion. It doesn’t mean you’ll get away with it in future.’ The warning was there for him not to try and walk over her wishes again in future. He knew better than that, but he wouldn’t apologise for stepping in when he deemed it necessary. Like tonight.

  ‘Noted and understood.’

  For a while they lay in silence listening to the soft snores of their sleeping son. Jamie was overcome with a surge of gratitude and admiration for the woman whose bed he was sharing. He watched her fight sleep, her eyes fluttering open and closed until they finally shut tight. She was bound to be exhausted and he wasn’t going to leave her here to parent alone when there were two of them to share the workload. It was the least he could do in return for the son she’d given him, for the family she’d created with him and for honouring his brother. Best of all, she’d permitted him to be part of her life. An honour he wouldn’t take for granted.